Stupid....stupid

You know, you would think after me living all these years I would be smart enough not to have done something so stupid! First of all, I wanted to get a nice ham for Easter. I had the brand name in mind and asked my friend to get it for me as she lives by the store that carries this particular one. She asked me if I wanted a whole ham and I said yes after only a couple seconds of thinking. I SHOULD have thought about this a tiny bit longer. She even asked me again...."are you SURE you want a whole ham" and I again said yes. So on Thursday before Easter she brings it to work and said she would put it in my car for me. Which she did. I didn't see it until it was quitting time and I got into my car to go home. There it sat....in the child's car seat...HA...what a sense of humor my friend has. It looked like a small pony sitting there. I thought to myself ... boy that's a lot of ham ... but came on home without thinking of further consequences again.

I kept it in the car until early Easter morning. It was cold outside, below freezing but my car is garage kept so it didn't freeze it solid. I nearly wrenched my back carrying this hummer inside. The weight on it said 27.8 lbs. Talk about a LOT of ham!

I took it out of the wrapper and wiped it down. I struggled getting it into the roasting pan. I actually had to trim off some of the fat so it would fit. I just know I threw both of my shoulders out of joint putting that sucker into the oven...but I managed. After a few hours the house smelt wonderful. Bottom line here is that our dinner was delicious...the ham was delicious...the ham STILL is delicious. I think I may be having this same ham as a daily diet til July 4th. I have given away half of it. I have tried to fix it just about every way one can imagine and I STILL have enough left to feed the entire population of Utah. I have learned a lesson....even at my age.

So I have been nursing my sore back and shoulders and all the while getting mighty sick of ham. March madness is coming to a close and I'm hoping all the mayhem and chaos will go with it. Its a crazy time for me and it always leaves me in a mess with so many things to do that have been put aside due to my own procrastination. Such a dirty word, isn't it? You would think that I would learn, wouldn't you....but I never seem to. So I'll be back, hopefully tomorrow and maybe I'll feel a little lighter since March is leaving....and leaving noisily too. We have wind advisories up for the night; gusting to over 50 mph. Hopefully we won't lose our power.

Scooby Snacks for All.....

Girl, I'm serious, my owner is cheating on her man with a total LOSER.

Something that I saw on TV got my mind going in this direction and once it started, I couldn’t seem to put a stop to it. It just sort of evolved into more and more and then I thought to myself…this might make an interesting blog post.

Have you ever wondered if possibly our pets are able to do a LOT more than they appear that they can do? Have you ever thought of the events that may be taking place in our absence…or during the night while we blissfully sleep? I have long suspected my pets of being able to understand a lot more of our language than most people give them credit for. Case in point…if you mention “vet” or “nails clipped” or “bath”…… have you ever noticed how fast a dog can disappear from sight? Well, if they can understand those terms, along with ‘outside’ and ‘bed’, what makes you think it stops there. Experts have said that dogs can understand as many words as an average three year old. I suspect they are capable of a whole lot more, being able to comprehend whole sentences and furthermore I think they gossip about it in our absence. We say everything and do most anything in front of our pets because we figure they can’t squeal on us. Oh, they must have a real ball talking to each other about all the stupid things we say and do. They know more of our business than WE do. Next time you see your dog at the fence with the neighbor’s dog, you should wonder if you’re being talked about and also what the neighbor’s dog is saying about THEM. I also think that they may have some mind-reading abilities too. Don’t believe me? Just stare at your dog sometime when the dog is not looking at you and before you know it he or she has turned around, caught you looking and has come to sit by you. This works even if they are sound asleep. Cats are a little tougher because they are better adapted to hiding the truth from us. They feel we are inferior to them anyway and usually can’t be bothered with us unless they hear the can opener or the crinkling of the food bag.

Yep, I think they all get together and endlessly gossip about us. If they are left alone all day while we work, they may even have friends in for a poker game or possibly a video game or two. You know the guy who painted the dogs playing poker might have seen them in action. Can you picture them all kicked back telling their tales about their human owners. Can you even IMAGINE knowing everything about everyone in a household…knowing who doesn’t want who to know this or that and the repercussions if this or that were found out. So the next time your pet gives you one of those “knowing” looks….you might just stop and wonder what it is that he or she really knows and toss them an extra Scooby snack. I swear my pet winked at me the other night right after I sneaked a chocolate egg to munch on.

I've Been Everywhere Through My Books.....

In response to a meme from Mapiprincesa
I submit the following. Now I know I'm supposed to tag five others, but rules are sometimes broken and I don't want to tag someone who would rather be tweezing chin hairs....so I'm leaving it like this.....feel free to respond and pass forward if you wish to do so.

I've Been Everywhere Through My Books

Six Word Memoir...
Rules:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag (five) more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

I blink and a week goes by.....

This is just getting plain ridiculous. I cannot believe how fast time is going. I know I've said it before but it almost feels like I'm in some kind of time warp or something. True, I've had to work every day and usually I only work two days a week and I know that sort of throws things off....but wow, before you know it, it will be WINTER again....oh the thought of THAT just makes me shiver in me knickers! LOL

I sure wish I could say that in this time period the Publisher's Clearing House visited me and presented me with a large sum of money but....alas...no such thing happened. Nor was I blessed with the visits of any royalty or not even Brad and Angelina. I just live my day to day existence being ME. When I think of it now, I wonder how in the world I ever found time to WORK when I was employed full time. Ever since retirement it seems like there are never enough hours in the day to get stuff done I would like to do. Oh boy....I need some cheese to go with this serious WHINE, don't I?

We are still at the mercy of the family court. A hearing will take place on the 27th and we will know more of what's going to happen at that time. To say that I literally HATE this unnecessary invasion of our privacy is an understatement. Seems like they inconvenience all the wrong people. If they had been more diligent and investigated my granddaughter's mother, she may not have put the lives of her two other children at risk, not to mention the life of her unborn child. I'm so glad my son chose to leave her when HIS child was just a baby, but its still biting us in the butt, even though he has full physical custody of his child and NO input in any of his ex's actions in the last 2 1/2 years. In the meantime, I'm having to slap my hand over my mouth to keep it shut. I've already shown my displeasure and also shown that I'm not intimidated even though I'm being forced to comply. Now that I've growled and shown my teeth, I'll pull my claws back in and only hiss and arch my back every now and then just to keep them in their place, if there is such a thing. Whew....Being a matriarch is tough stuff.

Well, I'm off to buy baskets, jelly beans and tiny toys for the 'bunny' to leave Sunday morning. I'm making a ham. I think I'm going to use Coke on it this time. If any of you have the recipe for that, please let me know. Thanks!

Don't you close that door.....

I sure wish I knew what the deal is with the bathroom door. If you have kids or a dog you know exactly what I'm talking about. Walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind you and you instantly have either your child or your dog, and sometimes both, scratching, sniffing or banging on it for admittance. I think that they honestly think there is a secret exit leading from the bathroom to either the backyard, or the land of Oz or maybe even Fantasyworld, where all kinds of fun things happen and they can't bear to miss out on it. No matter how quiet you are, they will awaken from a dead sleep to take up a vigil on the other side of the bathroom door as soon as they hear it click shut with you in there. Dogs, scratching and whining like you've left them forever with no food or water. Kids, crying and banging on the door like you've been gone for months when in reality its only been thirty seconds. When you finally open the door, your child will give you a dirty look and then look behind you into the bathroom like they expect to see the entire cast of The Lion King. The look immediately turns to suspicion when they cannot locate anything, not even a stray feather. They are sure you've hidden it all. Your dog, on the other hand, upon seeing you will leap for joy acting as if you've just returned from a six-month vacation. I have to admit, I frequently exit the bathroom with a smile on my face. It drives kids nuts. The dog just thinks I'm nuts.

A kiss on the cheek.....

My Monday act of random kindness this week was on Monday but it wasn’t random. I had been sorting out things in my closet, attempting to free up some room. I came across a top that I had purchased nearly two years ago on sale. It was either marked wrong or ran small for the size it claimed to be, as it didn’t fit. I hung it in my closet, complete with tags, thinking that I would exchange it. Soon it slipped my mind and there it hung. As I now looked at it I thought of a woman that I work near who is about the size of the garment. I decided to offer it to her.

I gave it to her on Monday, complete with tags, and with no strings attached as far as owing me anything….it is a gift. I could not have been repaid any better than what transpired right after. She became misty eyed while looking at the top and then leaned over and whispered in my ear that I was an answer to a prayer. She stated she had prayed on Sunday and asked if she could have something new for herself as money was tight and she was tired of buying used clothing….and on Monday I gave her the top. I felt like I had been kissed on the cheek by God for a job well done. What a wonderful feeling.

I guess I shouldn’t hide behind the excuses that my sporadic posts are the fault of being too busy or working too hard. In reality, we are having family problems. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed that I don’t want to read or write anything. Other times I’m so upset and can’t even think of a post. I want to keep things upbeat, but unfortunately our lives are not always upbeat. My son and granddaughter have been here living with me since last July and things are getting a bit strained all on their own, but add to the mixture an ex (mother of my granddaughter) who has gotten the family courts involved in our lives and the stress level tops out. She’s had her children taken away due to neglect and even though she did not have physical custody of my granddaughter, she shares custody of her on paper, so the child has to be included in the petition to remove. The children directly involved are the ones she had AFTER my granddaughter and have a different father. My granddaughter does not live with her, she lives here with her father and this is where she still is. Her half siblings are in the care of the State right now.

We have been up to our ears in case workers, protective service workers, interviews, home visits every two weeks and now being forced to take the child twenty some miles one way for supervised visitation every week. All this has just about done me in, I am so angry. My son would like his ex to give up her parental rights and this court case coming up may put that in motion.

All the paperwork and the waiting and the miscommunication between agencies is mind-boggling. So, there you have it…now you know why I haven’t been posting as regular as I’d like. Hopefully, this will be over soon. My son is attempting to retain an attorney at this time.

Time flies.....

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I can't believe four days have passed so quickly. I had company pop in, then had a funeral to attend that brought up a whole boatload of childhood memories. This family is about the very last one who can share childhood memories with me as they were my rural neighbors oh so many years ago. I even worked an extra day this week too. I really don't remember time passing by so quickly when I was younger. What is UP with this.

Anyway, I will be back soon. I still have some things to take care of.....like finding my tax documents. My furnace is working great and I'm toasty. I hope the neglected water heater lasts for a while longer although I wouldn't blame it one bit if it decided to quit. We often take these things for granted and never give them a second thought until they quit working. There is definitely a lesson to be learned here. I need to seriously do some letter writing to some neglected far away friends.

Always a snag.....

So more of the Furnace Fables.........the furnace guy said it would take about four hours to install it; it took nearly EIGHT. My house is insulated well so it only got down to 67 in here but I was getting a bit uncomfortable by the time they left. Furnace was running and kicking out some heat as they pulled out of the driveway. I sighed with relief too as it had been a hard day keeping a 3 year old entertained and out of their way.

I curled up with my book and patiently waited to feel warm again. After about 45 minutes I still felt cold so I checked the thermostat and it said.....67. I felt the heat registers....nothing. So I called the guy and he was home by then and probably in his jammies, slugging down a beer after an all day job like that.....but he said he'd be over to find out what was wrong.

Within a few minutes his partner that had helped him showed up. He had things up and running in just a few minutes. When asked what had been wrong, he just laughed and said, "sorry, human error". My son said it had something to do with too much water in somewhere and it had to be drained....after that it fired right up.

I'm just not that lucky.... so I know what happened....it was a reminder that the reason everything seemed to go ok with the installation, was only because the gremlins were busy effing up someone else's life and didn't have time to totally put the screws to me that day, so they just gave me a little kick to let me know they are still around and waiting. I figure they were messing with Soul, Jamie and Hensteeth about that time. Being a gremlin is hard work; lots to do this time of year. So far, so good......I have heat. Now, I'm wondering about the hot water heater. Ssshhhhh

They're Trying to Kill Me.....

Oh. My. God. I have two of them. Right now I’m glad I didn’t have more than that. My children, are now fully grown adults…..why can’t they act like it. Their habitual behind-the-back verbal abuse of each other is driving me totally and completely crazy. Each one comes to me tattling and complaining about the other. I want to run away. I feel like I have the only family in the entire world that is so effed up! I’m in the middle of it all and I can’t seem to find anywhere to hide. Right now I’d like to change my name and appearance and leave the state. I can’t believe these two belong to me.

For the first time in my life I absolutely understand why retirees move into a retirement village 3900 miles away from their families, giving the excuse of a better climate. HA They want some PEACE.

Move over, I’m drivin’….lets get on down the highway.

Gimme that hot air.....

This morning when I woke up my furnace blower was blowing cold air through the heat registers. That woke me up in a panic as I figured my furnace had finally turned up its toes and died. I turned the thermostat up and in a few minutes hot air was coming through so the furnace was working. It was the blower that was acting up again and I had just gotten that fixed, or so I thought. Its just not shutting off like it should….but its hit and miss. Sometimes it does what its supposed to do, sometimes it doesn’t. Tell THAT to a repairman and you will get the rolling of the eyes and that little sigh that just YELLS out…”um hmmm, sure lady”. I made up my mind to get a quote on a new furnace now since I know this is basically their slow time. This is the time to buy a new furnace…this is when you can take advantage of a good sale because warm weather will soon be here.

I got my quote tonight after he checked over my existing furnace that I’ve had for nearly 30 years. Its given me excellent service but its time to replace it. He confirmed that something is cracked…can’t remember what he called it now but he said it could lead to carbon monoxide poisoning if it wasn’t replaced soon. He also knew why my blower is doing what its doing and its not the blower’s fault at all; it’s the fault of some little sensor gadget. He said eventually that will completely fail and then the blower won’t run at all.

Since this furnace has served me so well, I asked about getting another of the same brand. He said that now parts were hard to find for that particular furnace, that there is only one distributor that carries parts and they are an hour away.

So, I hope I picked the right brand name. He said it was a good one with a warranty that can’t be matched by any other one on the market. The parts are easily obtainable, if needed, and that’s a plus for me. It will be installed either tomorrow or the day after. He will call me and confirm later on. I will be without heat for about 4 hours while they are installing if all goes well. And we all know…..that OF COURSE all will go well, won’t it?

I’m glad I had the money stashed but that stash was for something else. It was for a new computer but I guess I will just have to wait on that for a while longer. After all, a furnace is far more important than having an updated computer system. And just maybe the computer will be even cheaper in another year. I’m just so effin lucky I can’t stand myself.

Shoes and such.....

Ever been driving down the highway and see an article of clothing laying on the pavement and it gets you wondering what the story is surrounding that? Were a couple making mad passionate love, tearing off each others clothing and tossing it out the window as they were driving down the road? On the other hand, was someone in a fight with someone else and tossing clothing out to be spiteful. A hundred times I’ve seen just ONE shoe lying there. Always one. I remember wondering about that. What the hell is going on with the one shoe? What’s the story behind THAT? Someone decided that they were sick of seeing an odd shoe lying around inside their car and tossed it? I used to wonder if I would ever see a PAIR of shoes and one day I actually did. Let me tell you, it gave me a creepy feeling to see a PAIR of shoes carelessly strewn in the middle of the highway with no person in them. I hoped right then that I’d never see that again. I’ll settle for just the one shoe. Yep, I’ve seen hats, shoes, towels, t-shirts, sweatshirts and sweatpants, tossed aside like road kill, waiting patiently for someone to scoop them up into a garbage bag for disposal.

Which reminds me about the highways and the people who clean them up. Ever take notice of those signs….this stretch of highway has been adopted by so and so…or something like that. You are supposed to come and clean that stretch of road if you’ve adopted it. Ever seen a stretch of road that has unfit adoptive parents? Litter everywhere. I’m ashamed to say that when you come into the state I live in, on one of the main highways, it looks pretty awful. That particular entrance is near a large city and the city follows suite. I often wonder what people must think….they probably think the same thing I do.

I have visited Canada many times and have found it to be super clean. No litter, no graffiti, no junk. I rode the subway and was so impressed…not even a gum wrapper littered the platforms or inside the cars. Why can’t our big cities look like that? I never litter and when I see someone else do it, it makes me furious. If I have something that needs to be thrown away and can’t find a trash receptacle, I will put it in my pocket until I do find one or else just take it home. So…all of this rambling started just by seeing a shoe on the highway, but I still wonder about that since I see it so often. I’ve also seen a pair of shoes, tied together by the laces and thrown over wires at intersections. I’ve been told that it’s secret squirrel code for drugs. But I’m not sure about that.

I miss the old Burma-shave signs. I think that a lot of advertisers have given up using signs and billboards so much. I imagine they figure that drivers are all too busy looking at their GPS, car stereo, cell phone or DVD player to notice and, furthermore, actually READ and comprehend a sign along the road.

March came in like a Lamb.....hmmmm

The calendar pages have been turned…another month has started up. The old saying is that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb….well, it came in like a lamb, wonder if that means it will go out like a LION. Today is just striking. The sky is a gorgeous blue with fluffy white clouds and the sun is WARM and brilliant. Its still cold…25 degrees now….and at least 8 inches of snow covers everything. We had even more snow last night. But today, I guess just because its another month, I feel like winter is slowly receding. And that makes me want to do the Snoopy Dance.

Today I’m like a cat. After pouring myself a generous mug of coffee this morning, I grabbed a Danish and my book and headed for the chair right by the window that lets the sunshine inside. My cat used to always find that spot of sunshine and lay in it….today I remind myself of her. I need to soak up the sun’s rays. Too many cloudy, dreary days adversely affected me. If it were practical, I would invest in one of those portable light boxes...which simulates sunshine.

So finally I have a much better outlook on things and have reminded myself that getting frustrated over things in which I cannot control is just fruitless. That said…everyone enjoy your day. Make some great memories and tell someone you love them today!

Winter BLAHS and phones.....

How I wish I could say that I had stuffed my ample self into a bikini and was basking in the warmth of the Cancun sun, being served exotic drinks by a cabana boy that would ultimately be the subject of several stimulating day dreams…..but, unfortunately, I can’t. Truthfully, I am suffering from a severe case of the winter BLAHS. I can hardly stand myself, let alone expose others to me. I am just SO SICK OF SNOW. As I write this we have been issued yet another winter snow advisory…3 more inches of the nasty stuff.

In the meantime…trying to distract myself….I was thinking about changes that happen in our lives and they take place so smoothly that we come to accept them without much thought. I know that there are many of them, but I was thinking specifically about pay phones. How long has it been since you’ve used one of those? Matter of fact…how long has it been since you’ve SEEN one of those? They are getting harder and harder to find. Everyone has cell phones now or pretty quick access to one anyway. I can’t BELIEVE how many cell phones are out there, generating so many new phone numbers. Every time I see a teenager, they have an appendage hanging from their ear or one clipped onto it and they are engaged in a conversation. And WHAT is this text messaging bit…it takes a lot of time to type out a message, why not just CALL the person. I just DON’T understand this. A lot of businesses and doctor’s offices now have signs at their service counters asking people if they would please not talk on their cell phone while conducting business. That seems like a no-brainer to me…but some people are a tad slow on the uptake. I personally know people who have 6 cell phones in their family. Children who are 10 years old are walking around with cell phones. Its nice to be able to contact your child no matter where they are, but its also unnerving to think that they may SAY they are at home, when maybe they aren’t at all and you have no way of knowing. So, while we are at work, we definitely have to really put trust in our children. I have a cell phone but I rarely use it. I keep it with me for emergencies and for weekend long distance calls to family. I have friends that say cell phones are cheaper than regular landline phones and they have changed their service accordingly. Anyway, this was just a thought bouncing around in my head…wondering if pay phones will soon totally disappear and if not, how much it will soon cost to make a call…I’m betting on fifty cents. (if it isn’t that already) A quarter doesn’t go very far anymore. Ever drive into the QUARTER car wash…HA, that’s a laugh. You’ll get about 1 gallon of water for that. LOL

So, have a wonderful evening. I’m going back to my book in hopes it will bring me out of these winter doldrums. Sigh ~

My family, a meal and a good movie....Priceless

We had family day again at my house and all went well. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak….but it never did. Everyone got along great, even the under 6 set.

We usually watch a movie as well as have a dinner but it just seemed like there were no movies available we wanted…..we’d seen a lot of them already and the ones we hadn’t, we had no interest in seeing. Hmmmm a dilemma. So we looked through the bookcase of older movies I have on hand. I chose one that I hadn’t seen in a long time and no one else in the family had seen it at all. Somehow this one had slipped through the cracks, possibly because of its name. Nine Months. A movie staring Hugh Grant, Julianne Moore, Joan Cusack and Tom Arnold….not to forget Robin Williams. There are a few spots that sort of drag, but the delivery room scene is so hysterically funny that you will be gasping for breath. Trust me on this. Even the guys enjoyed watching, although reluctantly, because they thought it was going to be a chick flick. So don’t be afraid to rent this one, even though I think it came out in 1995. The soundtrack is a good one too for those of us that like the older soft rock type of music.

After that movie, a friend stopped by with the latest Alien vs Predator. Since the little ones were asleep by now, we watched it and I guess I’m showing my age here because on a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a 3. Lots of gore, a plot that is nearly non-existent, lots of scenes that I didn’t understand and acting that was pretty horrible. The original Alien movie was terrific as far as I’m concerned and the second one, Aliens, was good too, but these cheap-shot spin-offs are terrible.

Tomorrow starts off another week and already we have Winter Storm Watch posted for our area beginning Monday evening; a possibility of 5 to 8 inches of new snow and strong north winds. What can I say? You all know by now just what I think about THIS. Meanwhile, I hope you’re making happy memories on this Sunday.