Ok, this is how I picture myself in the morning. I am definitely not with the program until after I've had my coffee. As soon as my feet apprehensively touch the floor in the morning I am in a fog, doing things on auto-pilot until I get that cup of coffee. Lord help the person who calls me early in the morning and wakes me up. I've been known to carry on a short conversation and not even remember it later. Although its not my nature to be mean, I've been also known to get a bit snippy if you call me during that time. Most of the time though I go through the motions early in the morning, get my cup of coffee and check out the news without being bothered and things turn out well for everyone involved.This morning, however, it was different and I certainly hope its not an indicator of what the rest of my day is going to be like.
After getting up and taking care of the necessities we all have to do in the bathroom upon rising, I then trudged to the kitchen. I let the dog out and then proceeded to make my cup of coffee. Now I have one of those one-cup brewers, which I love BTW, and I brew a huge mug of coffee (18 oz.). It only takes about a minute and a half to brew this cup and so I get my meds out and take them with juice while waiting. Then I normally fix my coffee with coffee-mate, get some coffee cake or cinnamon bread and sit down to enjoy. This morning, however, I had to open a new container of coffee-mate. I got it out of the pantry and when I opened the pantry door a stack of paper grocery bags I had in there picked this time to fall over and spread across my kitchen floor.....so I had to pick those up, using my feet to push them into a pile and then carefully bending over to get them.....all the while cursing under my breath. Then I went to open the new container of coffee-mate, that boasted NEW CONTAINER all over the front. Now, I don't know if they think that coffee-mate consumers have a hand-span of a Yeti or what.....but I could not open that container. My fingers were not long enough to reach around the lid, which screwed on. By now the coffee is done and sitting on the counter in a mug.....the aroma beckoning to me. I try to get it open with a butter knife....no luck. I try banging it on the counter thinking that maybe it will loosen it up.....no luck. I then go for the bottle opener that's sticking to my fridge door by its built-in magnet. I use the one end that's pointed and used to open canned milk. I'm starting to make headway when the container slips out of my hands and hits the mug of coffee. The mug of coffee tips and falls off the counter, pouring HOT coffee all over the floor and some of it on me. 18 oz of coffee all over the kitchen floor. The mug hit the floor also and I can't believe it didn't break, but it didn't.
I had some folded bath towels sitting on top of the dryer and so I grab one and throw it on the floor. There is no way I can bend over and clean this up at this time. My back won't let me do it right now....I'm still stiff from sleep and my meds haven't taken affect yet. (I have back problems....arthritis) I wipe it up using my feet, cursing out loud now. I get that done, noticing that my mostly white bath towel is now stained with coffee stains but at this point I could care less. I brew another cup of coffee and mangle the coffee-mate container enough so that I can get it open. I then go to let the dog back in and she's gotten herself tangled around the deck steps (AGAIN) because she chases squirrels and I can't get her inside unless I go outside and untangle her. Ain't gonna happen.....at least not right now. Probably no neighbor is looking outside but I'm not going to take the chance. My too short nightshirt with the huge coffee stain in the front, my hair sticking straight up on the left side and my face marked with creases from the wrinkles in my pillow is not a sight for the faint of heart.
I have now had my cup of coffee and my coffee cake. I feel human again. My brain is functioning again and I can't help but wonder if what happened this morning in only 15 minutes after arising is any indication of what the rest of the day is going to be like. If so.......I'm grabbing a book and heading for the couch. In the meantime, I hope you all have a great day and remember to keep smilin'. And.....may all your lids open with no problems. (I'm headed out to the kitchen for another cup of coffee)
