Thursday, April 11, 2013

J.....is for Jealousy

Well, you may not believe this.....but I am not, nor have I ever been, a jealous person. I think it may be due to the fact that I grew up around a bunch of kids who were always jealous of me, as well as others; they were literally consumed by it. It hurt me deeply.  It hurts everyone deeply. My mom was not a jealous person either and I really do think there is truth to the fact that your moral fiber is based on your every day life; how those around you live their lives as well as the lessons they teach. I was exposed to jealousy and all the hurt it brought at the hands of my peers from a very early age and I never wanted to do that to anyone.

I don't hate someone because they have more than I do or they are more intelligent than me or better looking; I'm happy for them. If there ever are any bad feelings, it's me beating up on myself for maybe not studying harder for that test or not applying for that certain job or sticking to that diet. If a man cheats on his wife, why be jealous of the other woman? It's your husband you should be miffed at for throwing those wedding vows out the window.  I never could understand people who would go to extremes and damage someone's property or maybe damage someone period because they are jealous.  I had a cheating husband and I certainly didn't feel jealousy. I felt anger that he was such a shallow person and anger at myself for just plain picking the wrong guy.

I worked as a police dispatcher and believe me when I say that I've seen some pretty horrendous sights due to jealousy. There have been murders committed over this emotion as we all know.

So, I'm very grateful that I don't have this problem; I tried to raise my children to be the same. Have a friend who has achieved something you'd like to do?  Then work harder and DO IT. Be glad for your friend and use her for an example on how to reach your goals. This is what I taught.

I've seen a lot of mean spirited young people in the schools now, picking on other kids. It's obvious that a lot of parents are falling down on the job when it comes to envy and jealousy.



3 comments:

Ida Chiavaro said...

How funny. Our values are quite similar and there are some similarities in our stories too. I love your pragmatic and meaningful approach to this challenge.

Hughes ap Williams said...

I also worked as a police dispatcher and noticed that men handle domestic problems much worse than women.

Josie Two Shoes said...

I am like you in this sense (and so many other ways, Val :-), I have never seen the point of jealousy, I am always glad when something good happens to someone, even if it would have been something I liked too. I have also been on the receiving end of jealous, as a child because we had maybe more or nicer clothes than some, though it was never important to me, and recently when I met and married John, because people I thought were "friends" were jealous that someone so wonderful would want plain ol' me. But you know, I think that jealous people just like to feel miserable about themselves and their lives, never counting their blessings. I don't have a lot of time for people like that in my life!