Goin' out with a bit of Humor.....

A Texan Moves North

January 10th:
It's 5:00pm and it's starting to snow. The first of the season and
the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rum
and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift down, cling to the
trees and cover the ground. It was so beautiful.

January 11th:
We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the land
scape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful
mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and loved it. I did
both driveway and sidewalk. Later, a snowplow came along and accidentally
covered up the driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver waved
and smiled. I waved back and shoveled again.

January 12th:
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has
dropped to 11 degrees. Several tree limbs have snapped from the snow. I
shoveled the drive again. Afterwards, the snowplow came again. Now the snow
is brownish-gray.

January 13th:
It warmed enough today to cause slush which froze again when the
temperature dropped. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the
driveway, $145.00 to chiropractor. Nothing broken. More snow.

January 14th:
Still cold as hell. Sold the wife's car. Bought a 4x4 to get her to
work. Slid into a guardrail anyway with considerable damage. Another 8 inches
of snow last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More shoveling
for me. The goddamn snowplow came twice today.

January 15th:
It's 8 fucking degrees outside. More fucking snow. Not a tree on our
property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to
keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped
over and nearly burned the fucking house down. Managed to put out the flames
but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands plus lost all my eyelashes and
eyebrows. Car slid off the road on the way to the emergency room, and totaled
it.

January 16th:
More motherfucking goddamn white shit keeps coming down. Have to put
on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If I ever catch
the son-of-a-bitch who drives the fucking snowplow, I'll tear open his chest
and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner till after I've
shoveled. Power is still off. Toilet froze. Roof has started to cave in.

January 17th:
Six more fucking inches of this white shit and fucking sleet and no
telling what the fuck else will happen. I wounded the snowplow asshole with
an ice ax, but he got away. Wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm
going snow-blind. I can't feel my fucking toes. haven't seen the sun in
weeks and more white shit forecasted. Wind chill is 22 below. moving back to
Texas.

Goodbye 2007.....

What to write about…..what? What? I am bored. Yes, bored. Here I have been harping about wanting time to be in bed and rest and now that I am doing it, I’m bored. I have watched more TV in the last two days than I’ve watched in the last two months. The only reason why I’m not going through my stash of 29 unread books is because of this rotten headache that just won’t give it up. I have consumed so much ginger ale and water I feel like I’m going to float. I have no appetite to speak of…which is good. Maybe I can lose that 70 lbs I’ve been trying to lose. HA! I am much better than I was a few days ago, but I am not 100% by any means….more like 50%. Something how we take feeling ‘normal’ so much for granted. Maybe I needed a little lesson. Just a few days with a bug and I’m about ready to go nuts. I want to feel like I felt before this bug….hip pain and all. I’ll take it. (that’s desperation talking…I’d RATHER have NO pain, but I think you get my drift).

True to form, we have winter weather advisories up….snow, snow, snow…possibly 6 to 8 inches of the glorious stuff. Well, its better than ICE any day. We seem to always get horrendous weather on the last night of the year. It doesn’t deter most from going out and partying but I haven’t done that scene in many years. Its just way too crazy out there on this night. I used to give parties myself on New Year’s. I always would serve food too so no one would get too drunk. Everyone seemed to have a good time, including me….but after a while, it, too, just became a lot of extra trouble. Working women have to set their priorities. My job was very demanding and extremely stressful so I couldn’t afford hangovers or the time it took to get over them.

I think maybe I’ll go see about a little breakfast….cereal with some fruit maybe. I wanted to post today just so I could tell everyone who stops by to have a wonderful and safe New Year’s Eve and I wish a wonderful year ahead for you. That goes for our Nation too. We sure do need a break. So, see you ‘next year’……

Nasty night.....

When I finished up my workday today I knew I didn’t have to be back until January 7 and the thought of that made me tingle with happiness. Not that I hate my part time job or anything, because I don’t…..but I am just worn out and desperately need the rest. I think I’m close to having pneumonia to tell the truth. The holidays have just about done this old girl in. LOL I need a hot bath and a warm bed for several days in a row then I should be right as rain.

Speaking of that….weather-wise, tonight is one of the most miserable nights I’ve seen in a long while. It was nearly dark by 4 pm, 34 degrees and raining hard. By 5 pm, 33 degrees, the rain changed to sleet and it was dark. The wind was brisk and bitter on top of that. I have a rough time driving at night and the rain/sleet just made it all the worse. I was so happy to reach my driveway and pull into the garage and into safety.

Needless to say my jammies were on in record time, a stiff drink in my hand and I had my butt parked in front of the computer to check on my mail and blog comments. I have no reason to leave this house for a week and I hope nothing comes up that makes me have to leave.

So I am going to finish my drink and then get to bed. I sure hope I feel better by tomorrow morning. I hate sounding so whiny - I don’t even feel good enough to read more of my book.

My dog needs a Xanax.....

Well, it was early afternoon and the granddaughters, age 3 and 5, opened their gifts. The Barbies were checked out and clothes removed faster than a teen on prom night. Itty bitty shoes and accessories were scattered in the carpeting for grandma to step on in her bare feet, which is always a treat. What I don’t find with my bare feet, the dog will find and chew up. Next came the various other toys; strawberry shortcake dolls and accessories, Dora and the oh-so-street-wise Bratz. If Dora hangs around the Bratz for long, she sure will be getting an education on stuff I’m sure isn’t on her “map”. She’ll be wearing eyeliner and thongs with low rider jeans and end up skipping school to get 20 piercings just on one ear. (ever notice how the teens dress now? The girls wear 2 sizes too small and the boys wear 2 sizes too big. I have honestly seen the crotch of some kids’ jeans almost at their knees. I cannot fathom how they keep them up. But this is a whole ‘nother story)

My evil ex bought the one granddaughter a Wazoo or whatever its called…that toy totally disappeared after she blew on it LOUDLY for 10 minutes straight. If I have my way, it will never be found again. Toy ponies and cow girl hats and doll house furniture….it was like a toy store exploded in my living room. Within 30 minutes I heard the girls running and squealing with delight…back and forth they ran and an odd popping noise accompanied their laughter. I had to check and what I saw confirmed my belief that kids don’t need all this expensive crap. Those girls were playing with big empty boxes, wrapping paper and bubble wrap, as their toys lay in disarray on the floor. They were popping the bubble wrap at each other in a game of cops and robbers as they were running and hiding and also antagonizing the dog with it a great deal. Such fun. They played with that more than their toys. Next year I can save myself a lot of money….just go to the grocery store and get some empty boxes and then buy a couple rolls of bubble wrap and I’ll be all set.

Christmas is wonderful, but this grandma is tired out and I’m glad its over for another year. My dog is exhausted and stressed out to the max. The weather cooperated and we did have snow, although it was only about an inch or less. We all got together in the same house and there were no arguments, no hurt feelings, angry outbursts, snide remarks or injuries during this small period of time. This is as close as we can get to “The Waltons” but I’ll take it.

Christmas thoughts.....

With today’s economy being like it is, I am wondering how much the average person spent on gifts this year….not the amount but if it is lower or higher than last year or years before.

I found myself really being aware of the price of things this year. Groceries, for one thing, have gone up tremendously. So its going to cost at least 1/4 more to have that great dinner we always have at this time. As for gifts, I scanned the stores for sales and found that even the sale items seemed to be priced way too high. I know I have gotten these same items in previous years for less money…say, perfume, for example. So, for me, I bought less this year. The love is still there, in every present given, but there are not so many this year. I’m grateful that we are able to buy what we do. Don’t get me wrong…the kids are getting some nice things…just not as many. And we adults are not exchanging at all and that has really saved not only money but a lot of stress too.

A friend of mine starts her Christmas shopping in July. I always laughed at her for that and thought it was a bit strange….but now I am seeing that there is a method to her madness. She is able to buy a lot more and not have it strain her budget so much because she’s doing it a little at a time. I think I’m going to start doing that myself this coming year.

While shopping for others, I did see one thing I wanted for me. At night I turn down the heat, so I’m cold when I first get in bed at night. I decided to buy an electric blanket to pre-warm the bed. I received it and took it out of the package and laid it on top of my bed….not plugged in yet or anything. I came back to it about 2 hours later to find a hole chewed in it and the wires pulled out and chewed in half. Yep, my precious little dog at work. Thank God I didn’t have it plugged in. I had no idea she would do such a thing….so it’s a blessing in disguise. What if I would have put it on the bed, plugged in it and gone to sleep (the dog sleeps with me)….wahoo…fried dog and maybe even fried GRANDMA. So there’s $60 down the drain but I learned a lesson.

I am joyous and grateful for everything I have and thank God every day for the blessings He has given me. I wish each and every one of you a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holiday, whichever it is you prefer. I probably won’t post again until after Christmas, so stay safe and be happy. Big hugs.

and the tears came.....

This is an update. After me feeling sorry for myself and saying that I'd be getting no presents....my son surprised me tonight. He gave me a gold ring that says MOM on it. Has a little heart for the O in mom with diamond cutting on it. He's been paying for it a little at a time. I was so surprised....I broke down and cried. This really did affect me in a profound way. I needed that at this time. I really did.

Oh yeah.....and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only mom who stashes goodies. LOL

This n' that and all that.....

Well, here’s a little rundown of the latest. My daughter’s car is having another hissy fit. Just won’t do anything. Turn on the key….NOTHING. So, us not being mechanically inclined, assume it has something to do with the battery and have left it for THE SON to diagnose and, hopefully, fix. It WOULD be wonderful if said fixing could cost nothing, but that’s doubtful. We will have to wait and see. In the meantime, I will have to run her places.

Like last night….I was so tired I could barely see and had to take her to the grocery store. I had been up since 4 in the morning, worked a full 8 hour day and just wanted my bed. But, I waited in the car while she did her shopping…..for over an hour. You never know how bad your butt can ache until you sit on it in a car with limited movement for over an hour. I had a headache to boot so I wasn’t in the best of moods. I couldn’t even entertain myself with people watching, which is one of my favorite things to do. When like this, its just best if I keep my mouth shut….which I did.

The woman I work next to at work gave me a present from her to me. She made me a lovely Christmas basket just filled with homemade cookies, breads, candy and fudge. OMG. It is gorgeous and for the very first time in my entire life I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to be horribly selfish and NOT share it with ANYONE. I brought it home and put it in my bedroom closet. I have been sneaking goodies from it here and there ever since. I know this just sounds awful…but I can justify this….really. See, I will get no other presents. Both my kids are out of work and since I have such a tiny family, there really isn’t anyone else. So…my one and only present is going to be totally FOR ME. The rest of them all will have presents from me….so they aren’t suffering. In the meantime, I’m being a Ms. Piggy and lovin’ every minute of it. LOL

Like I mentioned before, I received a lot of compliments on my dressing…which was my contribution to the Christmas luncheon we had. Wow, that makes me feel really good….but I really didn’t do anything that special. Its Pepperidge Farm dressing in a package…which I add a few things to. I guess maybe its just that stuff always does taste better if you don’t make it yourself. LOL

I still have 3 or 4 things that I haven’t received from my online Christmas Shopping that I did on December SECOND. These are toys for the girls. I’m not happy with the store I ordered from….I had had problems with them once before and gave them a second chance. NO MORE. I will NEVER order from them again. Wish I could tell you their name but I don’t want to get sued by them. HA…now THAT would be the topping on the cake. Seriously late with my purchases and then sue me for saying so.

Well, this about wraps it up. I work tomorrow so today I’m resting up as much as I can. Just hope I don’t have to take my daughter too many places. Did I mention that my son’s car is on the fritz too (transmission)…so I have the only running vehicle in the family right now. Hope the angels watch over it and protect it for me.

So tired.....

I am so tired that even my hair hurts. We had our office Christmas dinner at noon today and my dressing was a big hit...that made me feel good.

I hear my comfy bed calling my name.....so I'll write more tomorrow.

Afterward.....

After my son shoveled things up a bit, we will be getting in and out with ease. Note the snowmobile tracks across my driveway. They've been having a ball out there. Brrrrrr!

Oh the weather outside is.....

This is what we woke up to and I guess we’ll be getting more of this glorious stuff all day long today. The wind is very brisk and its just bitterly cold. These pictures can’t do it justice….on how miserable it is outside …..unless you’re into snow sports…then I guess you’d be happier than all get out. Hope your Sunday is a good one. I’m going to snuggle in and read my book.

Home at Last.....

Lord have mercy! When I got home this evening I wanted to kiss the kitchen floor. Talk about a jungle out there! People are absolutely INSANE. They are driving like idiots, honking and squealing tires, cutting people off, slamming on brakes at the last minute. I had one guy miss me by INCHES…he had drifted over into my lane. I still can’t figure out how he missed ripping off my mirror on the side. Then I almost rear-ended someone because they stood on their brakes to turn into a store at the last minute. Good thing I keep a good distance back. Traveling on today’s roads is not for the meek, that’s for sure.

I came in my house, threw off my coat, thanked God for seeing me home safely and promptly made myself a stiff drink. I still need a few things at the store but I’m honestly afraid to venture out tonight….so I will wait until Monday morning. I conveniently have that day off so I’ll make the most of it.

Yes, I’m planning another family night tomorrow. We will watch the newest Harry Potter and Shrek III. I’m fixing a ham with baked beans and au gratin potatoes. I may even make the holiday meatballs too. Can’t think of a good dessert yet (its got to be easy). I’ll come up with something…maybe pumpkin bars.

In the meantime, I’m now in my jammies and have finished a drink so I’m feeling much calmer. Hope you all have a happy Friday…Oops…my weather alarm just went off and we have a “Winter storm watch” in effect. Possibly up to 8 inches of the S-word by Sunday night. Good heavens……pour me another drink.

Holiday Meatballs

Just in time for the holidays, I have a recipe for you that is so simple and so delicious that your friends and/or co-workers will think you are a god or goddess, whichever the case may be. This recipe was given to me by my boss (a man) just before I retired. He brought it in to work every year for our Christmas party and everyone loved it. So, here it is:

Holiday Meatballs

2 12 oz. Jars Heinz chili sauce

1 1 lb. Jar of grape jelly

2 medium pkgs. (60 to 70 meatballs total) Frozen Armour meatballs

In a crockpot, blend chili sauce and grape jelly. When jelly has melted into the chili sauce, add the meatballs. Cover and cook in crockpot on high for 2-3 hours or on low for 5-6 hours.

Enjoy!

With a song in my heart......

The other night I went to bed with my mp3 player. I must have close to 200 songs on it and each one holds a memory. Isn’t that really what songs are all about? I probably listened for over an hour before I got so sleepy I knew I’d better shut it off. The songs today just can’t hold a candle to those songs of my youth and herein defines the generation gap.

I can remember my mom thinking that Elvis was really a dirty boy and that his song, “Hound Dog” was just awful. His hip gyrations were considered to be too sexual. How can you listen to such garbage, she would say. Sound familiar? I have said that to my children in reference to some of their songs and now I’m saying it to my grandson, who is 17. Oh my Lord, what would my mom say about the language in songs now, not to mention the language and scenes on regular television?

In remembering back, I know I listened to those songs because I truly LIKED them….not because I wanted to rebel against my parents. I still think the 60’s had the best music ever, even though a good song will come along now here and there. I have always tried to be objective and therefore think to myself that my grandson listens to these songs because he likes them, not because we DON’T. But, unfortunately, I find nothing to like about some of this music, if you want to call it that……unless we’re talking about Country, of course. Country music never seems to change….its real life set to music. Some of it so hurtful you can’t bear to listen because, its YOUR LIFE they are singing about.

Like they are supposed to do, I guess….they evoke emotions…some songs make me sad, while others make me happy. A song that has never let me down as far as making me happy is “Low Rider”….don’t know why, but it just puts me in a damn good mood. So, I’ll bogie out of here to the tune of Low Rider, feelin’ happy for all my blessings and not letting other thoughts creep in………like how I’d like to kick the a$$ of the guy who honestly RAN to beat me to the ATM machine. (what a putz). I keep visualizing how funny it would have been if he would have tripped and fallen as he was running to get ahead of me. Aren’t I sadistic? (evil snicker)

Poked, probed and x-rayed......

This morning it was freezing rain and foggy and….OF COURSE….I had to go out in it. I had a doctor’s appointment and his office is approximately 5 miles away. I got there without any trouble and was surprised that I didn’t have to wait long….maybe they had some cancellations. Anyway, I had a new nurse this time. I love that because as she stopped at the scale I said…”I don’t want to do that, I’m not in the mood” and…..I got away with it! Wahoo! I HATE weighing in. It always puts me in a rotten mood….and with a new nurse you can usually get away with intimidation…at least once.

Well, after checking my x-rays, my arthritis is worse and now he wants me to see an orthopedic surgeon for my hip. Even though he says I don’t have to do this immediately, we are talking surgery here and I’m not pleased about that. He is also going to try a new medication and see if that helps; and is doubling up on my pain pills. I can’t believe that I once used to jump up on a horse and ride bareback at a full gallop. Oh well….at least I’m glad I was able to have that experience in my lifetime. Those are sure happy memories.

To soothe my nerves, as soon as I got out of the doctor’s office, I swung by Dunkin’ and got a coffee and some coffee cake muffins. Oh my…if you’ve never had those muffins, try one. They are great. (now you know why I skip the weighing in).

I’m also concerned about my friend, Jamie, who is having surgery today. I know they have had a horrible ice storm in her neck of the woods and I sure hope that everything went ok in spite of that. I’ve been thinking about her all day. If you get a chance, stop by and wish her well.

I had a great time at the party that Anonymous Boxer had last weekend. I visited a lot of blogs and had a lot of party-goers visit me. AB, if I didn’t already do this….thank you for the invite….sorry I didn’t stick around to help you clean up.

The movies we watched last weekend at my family night get together were pretty good. There was a slight change and we watched Spiderman 3 instead of Shrek III. It was very good…lots of action and a pretty good plot. The other movie, TRANSFORMERS….was pretty good too. Its definitely a “male” movie. My grandson was in seventh heaven. I have a couple complaints about it…one, it was pretty long at 2 ½ hours and two, I sometimes had a hard time telling the good guys from the bad ones. But lots of action and the graphics were impressive. The plot was a bit shallow but they threw in some comedy to make up for that. All in all…not a bad movie.

Family night was a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. If my son hadn’t decided to have ten one too many beers, it would have been a 9 or 10 for sure. We are still going to have family nights even if I have to pull hair to make them do it. Sigh ~ its not easy being mom.

We still have weather advisories up and I sure hope we don’t get what Iowa got. In the meantime, I’m gonna snuggle in with a good book. I’m reading Dean Koontz’s last one: The Darkest Evening of the Year.