Saturday, August 30, 2008

Thoughts from the edge.....

Every once in a while when I walk through my breezeway, I walk through a huge cobweb. It always brings to mind one of Gary Larson's creations from his The Far Side cartoons.....the one with the two spiders putting a web across the bottom of a playground slide, with one telling the other, "if we pull this off, we'll eat like kings".

I've often wondered about the size of a spider with such magnificent ambitions. Well, I won't have to wonder any longer, since I've seen him.

The other morning I sleepily stumbled into the bathroom and walked through a web.....that had not been there a mere six hours before. I was shaking my head and thinking about Gary's cartoon with a smile on my lips when I happened to gaze into my bathtub and observed a spider roughly the size of a small Buick.

Now I have been known to capture some spiders in a tissue and set them free outside but this one was a bit much for me.....and besides that, I'm sure he was witness to my bathtub incident (in which I had to slither out of the tub) and, given his size, he could have surely helped me out but didn't, so I wasn't feeling too kindly toward him. He met a watery grave and yes, I do feel sort of guilty about it but.......I just don't like spiders. I know, I know....they are beneficial but they are downright creepy and I can't help it. I feel the same way about snakes. I'm sure I'm not alone when it comes to this.

It did make me wonder just how a spider this size manages to gain entry into my home. I have come to the conclusion that he probably was born inside my home and has been eating like a king since. He has probably had his eye on the dog for quite some time but since the web was at MY eye level, its certain I was the intended prey. I have visions of my entire house enveloped in a cocoon of webbing, saving leftovers for a later date. Something tells me that he may have had the same visions.

Think it can't happen? Here's a picture taken at a State Park in Texas last year of a giant spider web created when a trail wasn't used in two weeks. I think we may need a bigger can of Raid.

I'll leave you with this tidbit that will probably haunt you as it does me. I once read that we (as in humans) are NEVER more than 3 feet away from a spider at any time. Now isn't that a comforting thought? Have a wonderful and safe holiday weekend y'all.

22 comments:

Gypsy said...

As usual I am sitting here laughing my ass off at your hilarious post (loved the part about the spider not helping you out of the bath) until...yes until...I saw that pic of the spider web on the walking trail. What kind of effin monster could be responsible for THAT and in two weeks. That's the kind of stuff nightmares are made of and on that note I'm back off to bed to hide under the covers.

Kelly Jene said...

Thanks a lot Val, now I know I'll have nightmares! I agree with Gypsy though, that was darn funny, I love your imagery and smart alec attitude. I love you! Be safe and no offense to spider activists, but he would have been squashed at my house. Love you!

Kelly Jene said...

HOLY CRAP!! I went and saw the giant web after I posted.... HOLY CRAP!! That makes the movie Arachnophobia look a little more realistic. My kids even got freaked!

mama llama said...

I worked at a movie theatre for a summer job when Arachnophobia was out. We opened up the window over the audience one night during a late showing and threw a bunch of big black plastic spiders out over the viewers...

never heard so much screaming in my life.

That was a mongo-web. Oh my goodness, what a photo.

I just call the webs up around my house "permanent Halloween decor."

Happy Saturday, Val. Great reading you again. Be well.

Mary said...

Guess it's true - they do make 'em bigger in Texas. Sorry, I just couldn't resist. That picture looks like something from a science fiction movie.

Spiders and snakes are NOT among the wild life that I spare. Sorry, but it's true. I have no mercy.

Have a fun holiday weekend.

Cheryl said...

So what did you do about that spider? I remember them all over the place in Kiawah, SC. Hated them!

Smocha said...

Ditto what Gypsy said.

Holy moly! That IS the stuff nightmares are made of.

Spiders get no sympathy around here.
*shudder*

Joy Des Jardins said...

Sorry, but spiders and creepy-crawlies don't get much sympathy here either Val. No thank you. I don't care what benefits they may have to 'mankind'.....but to THIS woman...they just 'oog-me-out.' I didn't even go to your giant spider website....I've seen some of those....GOOD GOD....they are NIGHTMARES!!!!! I'm sick of finding spider webs all around my house. I can't believe how fast they construct those things. I wrote a post about spiders a while back too...because I feel the same way you do Val. Even though we may not find every one of them....these critters had better think twice about taking up residence in OUR residence.....

Brad said...

OK, just a bit of showing off...Gary Larson lives here in Seattle and is one of our customers. His house is pretty awesome.

The Real Mother Hen said...

You set them free? Geez you are good! I kill them, squeeze them, pound them, flatten them... I'm that bad! :)

Life at Star's Rest said...

Geez...I used to have to carry a riding crop while trail riding in Texas. Not for the horse but to wave in front of us to clear out the webs that would otherwise have hit me in the face. I never saw anything like that though! Carmon

SOUL: said...

this was a great post charlotte. but to my dismay... this poor spider could have been one of your offspring!!! :))

that's alright tho-- i kill every and any spider in sight-- i hate them, and i fear them. so much so that i don't even waste time hunting a show, like most do-- or even like i do for any other insect-- if it's a spider-- i will slap them barehanded or step on them bare-footed--if need be, i hate them that much. them thangs can keel ya. :))

anyhow-- how's your weekend goin so far? i hope it;s good.

simonsays said...

Oh how you DO make me laugh....

And I'm right there with you, they are just too creepy.

I hope your work schedule is a little easier on you this week.

Hugs honey.

:)

fiwa said...

Val, you booger. I already have nightmares about spiders as it is...thinking about one being within 3 feet of me at all times is making me itch!

Seriously - it's about to be spider time here too - we always get a ton of them in the fall as the weather starts changing. Why are they always in the bath tub? The cannot be coming up out of the drain - we have septic so there's no way they could be down there. I'm with you, I catch and release on the small ones, but I have no pity for the bigguns. They get flushed - I don't want to be encouraging them to have babies in my house!

Love you -
fiwa

Bear Naked said...

That was one HUGE web.
Don't like the idea of a spider invading my 3 foot personal space one bit.

Bear((( )))

boneman said...

oh yeah...get the hair on the back of my neck to stand up.
Oh, I've seen large spiders out here in the country, but, we have a deal.
They stay outside and I don't see if my size fourteen shoe fits anyof their feet.
So far, the shoe don't fit.

On the other hand, that cartoon you mentioned?
We have two spiders here trying every once and a while to catch ME!
Build these really elaborate webs across a spanse between the bushes and the crab apple tree out front.
HUGE webs.

You'de think they were trying to catch a bird or something.

jyankee said...

All I can say is THANKS Val, for that little tidbit! LOL! Ick....

simonsays said...

Missing your words o' humor and wisdom...

Hugs. :)

ordinaryjanet said...

I feel the same way about spiders! I'm having a battle with the tiny ones who keep putting up their webs around and between the plants on my bedroom windowsill, and there's one stubborn one who keeps trying to make a web across the back porch. I do NOT enjoy walking through a web to go down the steps, and I do the "ick! spider web!" dance where I leap around batting web threads off my body. *shudder* Why don't they build them someplace where it doesn't bother us?

Summer said...

I have this unnatural fear of spiders. I break out into a cold sweat when I see one. Just reading this makes my heart beat a little faster. I think I need therapy. Ha!

Maria said...

I'm with you. I HATE spiders. My mother used to say that you shouldn't kill them since they were good luck. But, I kill them. And the majority of spiders in my home are found in my bathtub at 3 in the morning...

SOUL: said...

whaddddupp?????

just sayin howdy--
happy week to ya-