Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Is it Something in The Air?.....

I know what's going on with my family but it seems like a lot of us are having an exceptional amount of drama happening lately. Something in the stars? I sure don't know but will be seriously glad when it all decides to end. I am in desperate need of some peace.

I am the Queen of worriers. I worry about everything. You can get worry wreaths, worry balls, worry boxes, worry beads, worry stones, worry dolls and lord knows how many other things....but nothing seems to keep you from worrying if you're the worrying kind.

Last week my son had to show his butt and he, along with my ex really hurt my feelings. I was just nicely getting over that when my grandson left his house Friday afternoon with a friend, telling his mom he'd be back in "a couple hours". Three days later, she is a quivering, shaking mess, sitting at the police department filing a missing person report. I don't think I even have to tell you what it was doing to me. The matriarch of the family....the one who has to stand strong and be the backbone. I did all that but when I was alone, I fell apart. I was just plain scared. We were planning his little sister's birthday celebration Sunday.....he knew that. Our out-of-state relatives were leaving to go back home Monday. Yes, indeed....I was truly scared.

At 17 years old, he apparently thinks he has earned the right to come and go as he pleases without answering to anyone. He has stayed at friend's before for a couple days but he's always called. This time he didn't call. (No....he doesn't have a cell phone like 90% of the teen population) He was with a new kid in town. None of his friends knew this kid's last name or where he lived....they only knew his first name. Today was the fourth day he'd been missing. We were getting a picture ready to email to the local news media when his best friend called and said they had located him. Yes....he's fine. This new kid is wealthy I guess and he's been having a lot of fun at his house....for four days. And yes....the kid's parents were aware that he was there, as they were home and he was there by invitation. I'm sure there are phones in the house....why didn't he call home? And what happened to the old deal that parents used to do.....call the other kid's parents! Get acquainted....find out if the kid has permission to stay....What happened to that? Although I'm not blaming this on them....the blame is on my grandson. What he did is 100% wrong and unforgivable.

You think you know your kid or your grandkid....but you don't really know them like you think you do. He has put his mother and me through so much worry during this time I can't even begin to tell you. I had so many What If's going through my head........well, I'm sure you can imagine.

As soon as we found out he was alive and he was OK....then we were both instantly and gigantically pissed. I absolutely cannot believe that he was so uncaring....so inconsiderate...as to let us suffer like this. And no....there had been no argument beforehand....he just casually left.
I don't know what she's going to do about him....I think she's going to cart him down to the police station to let the officer have a little talk with him, if they will do such a thing. As for me....I am numb. I'd like to spank him hard and send him to his room with no TV or privileges for a year.....I'd like to put him in the naughty chair, send him to bed with no dessert and anything else that will get it across to him that what he did was terribly cruel and wrong. But he's too old for any of that.

That which does not kill you, will only make you stronger. Both my daughter and I ought to be champions by now. Thank God this turned out ok.....it could have gone the other way so easily.


Brad said...

If that kid thinks he's a man that can come and go as he wants - then it's time he was paying his momma rent for storing his stuff. Tough love is what that boy needs.

Anonymous said...

Yep I kinda agree with Brad up there...tough love works... easier said than done though, I'm sure.

desert dirt diva said...

yep brad is right.I also think that his momma should be calling the other kids parents and asking them ,why They did not call to clear it first...i will not nor will i ever let a child stay here unless i talk to the other parent first.. i thought that was just an unwritten law !!!!glad he was safe:)

simonsays said...

Oh charlotte, good hell, want me to help you kill him? Ack...I know you can't and don't even want to but what is wrong with kids these days? I know that's a cliche' question but I am serious? What the hell is wrong with them? I can only imagine the hell both you and your daughter have been through, and I suppose that your grandson will not understand until he is truly grown with kids of his own. Seems like a long time to wait, to me. Ugh.

I hope your life lets up now---you deserve some down time, just like the rest of us. I have decided that will never happen for me, but when you manage to have some, let me know how you did, okay?

In the middle of all the bad, I would like to ask you if you are enjoying living alone again, or are you missing your son and granddaughter? I hope it's the former and that you find your home the peaceful haven it should be.

Hugs. Many, many hugs.

Let's get together and drink, okay?


Summer said...

This truly is a horrible story. I can only imagine how you and your daughter must have felt.

For a laugh, I always like to say, "That which doesn't kill you, should have."

Mary said...

Char, I'm late on catching up. This was a horror to live through. I'm so sorry. I'm a real believer in tough love but it's so very hard to execute.

I'm glad that he came home and that he's OK. Bless your heart, you have had a rough time lately. I hope this marks the beginning of a quieter time.

Smocha said...

ugh , my heart was literally in my throat as I read this. You poor things. I'm sure once you knew he was safe you all wanted to kick his ass.

I would have never let a kid stay at my house with out asking "does your mother know you're here?"
and I'd of made him call and check in before 4 days passed.

Not only do I have to wonder "what the hell is wrong with kids these days, but what the hell is wrong with the parents too?"

I am so glad this did not turn out in some horrible way.

Hope some calm boring times are heading your way.


Bear Naked said...

Haven't had time to visit your blog until now.
Sorry this happened to you and your daughter.
What were those parents thinking having your grandson staying htere for FOUR days without speaking to his mother.
Is there no common sense left in society any longer.
After all that has happened to you this month you deserve to have a *ME* day.
Take the time to pamper yourself this weekend.

Bear((( )))

Joy Des Jardins said...

I could feel your blood pressure rising as I read this Val. This would be what I call...a 'wringing-of-the-hands', "Please Dear God let that kid be alive, 'cause I'm gonna kill him when he gets home" episode. How many grey hairs do you suppose you got over that one Val? ((((((Much Needed))))))) ~Joy

CJM-R said...

What a horrible experience.

I can only imagine what you and your daughter went through for 4 long days.

Just unbelievable that the parents never called to make sure you all knew where he was.

So glad he is safe and sound and hopefully that he learned a big lesson.

Anonymous said...

Kids can be so thoughtless. Hope he's learned a lesson in considering his family's feelings. And that he knows the reason you're all pissed at him is because you love him.