Things I Would Love to Say.....

Excerpts from phone calls I receive at work.

(I must get 20 calls a day that start out like this one)
Caller: I probably have the wrong department but….

If you really think you have the wrong department then you probably do. Click.

Caller: The garbage company refuses to come down our street because of all the snow and YOU need to do something about it.

Ok, pardon me while I get my AK47 and shoot up the offices of the garbage company and set fire to their trucks.

Caller: If I can get out of our subdivision to go to work, then the garbage truck can certainly get in to pick up our garbage.

I’m glad to know you know how to drive a 50,000 ton truck on snow and ice. Maybe YOU should drive it and pick up all the garbage FOR them.

Caller: If my child has an emergency, our roads are so bad an ambulance wouldn’t be able to get here.

This state has a winter season….winter means ice and snow, which means driving could be hazardous or nonexistent…you may want to move to a warmer climate.

Caller: There are people riding horses down the road leaving piles of horse manure and that’s a danger to my health.

Really? Oh my god…don’t go anywhere near it…keep everyone inside, I’ll alert the media.

Caller: I don’t think you’re giving Mr. Jones my messages, he hasn’t returned my calls.

Actually, I never took your messages in the first place because Mr. Jones thinks you’re an a-hole.

Caller: Do I have to bring my dog with me in order to get his license?

Geez lady, are you on crack? What an ignorant question.