Sunday, October 10, 2010

Add coffee and gently mix.....

Ok, this is how I picture myself in the morning. I am definitely not with the program until after I've had my coffee. As soon as my feet apprehensively touch the floor in the morning I am in a fog, doing things on auto-pilot until I get that cup of coffee. Lord help the person who calls me early in the morning and wakes me up. I've been known to carry on a short conversation and not even remember it later. Although its not my nature to be mean, I've been also known to get a bit snippy if you call me during that time. Most of the time though I go through the motions early in the morning, get my cup of coffee and check out the news without being bothered and things turn out well for everyone involved.

This morning, however, it was different and I certainly hope its not an indicator of what the rest of my day is going to be like.

After getting up and taking care of the necessities we all have to do in the bathroom upon rising, I then trudged to the kitchen. I let the dog out and then proceeded to make my cup of coffee. Now I have one of those one-cup brewers, which I love BTW, and I brew a huge mug of coffee (18 oz.). It only takes about a minute and a half to brew this cup and so I get my meds out and take them with juice while waiting. Then I normally fix my coffee with coffee-mate, get some coffee cake or cinnamon bread and sit down to enjoy. This morning, however, I had to open a new container of coffee-mate. I got it out of the pantry and when I opened the pantry door a stack of paper grocery bags I had in there picked this time to fall over and spread across my kitchen floor.....so I had to pick those up, using my feet to push them into a pile and then carefully bending over to get them.....all the while cursing under my breath. Then I went to open the new container of coffee-mate, that boasted NEW CONTAINER all over the front. Now, I don't know if they think that coffee-mate consumers have a hand-span of a Yeti or what.....but I could not open that container. My fingers were not long enough to reach around the lid, which screwed on. By now the coffee is done and sitting on the counter in a mug.....the aroma beckoning to me. I try to get it open with a butter knife....no luck. I try banging it on the counter thinking that maybe it will loosen it up.....no luck. I then go for the bottle opener that's sticking to my fridge door by its built-in magnet. I use the one end that's pointed and used to open canned milk. I'm starting to make headway when the container slips out of my hands and hits the mug of coffee. The mug of coffee tips and falls off the counter, pouring HOT coffee all over the floor and some of it on me. 18 oz of coffee all over the kitchen floor. The mug hit the floor also and I can't believe it didn't break, but it didn't.

I had some folded bath towels sitting on top of the dryer and so I grab one and throw it on the floor. There is no way I can bend over and clean this up at this time. My back won't let me do it right now....I'm still stiff from sleep and my meds haven't taken affect yet. (I have back problems....arthritis) I wipe it up using my feet, cursing out loud now. I get that done, noticing that my mostly white bath towel is now stained with coffee stains but at this point I could care less. I brew another cup of coffee and mangle the coffee-mate container enough so that I can get it open. I then go to let the dog back in and she's gotten herself tangled around the deck steps (AGAIN) because she chases squirrels and I can't get her inside unless I go outside and untangle her. Ain't gonna happen.....at least not right now. Probably no neighbor is looking outside but I'm not going to take the chance. My too short nightshirt with the huge coffee stain in the front, my hair sticking straight up on the left side and my face marked with creases from the wrinkles in my pillow is not a sight for the faint of heart.

I have now had my cup of coffee and my coffee cake. I feel human again. My brain is functioning again and I can't help but wonder if what happened this morning in only 15 minutes after arising is any indication of what the rest of the day is going to be like. If so.......I'm grabbing a book and heading for the couch. In the meantime, I hope you all have a great day and remember to keep smilin'. And.....may all your lids open with no problems. (I'm headed out to the kitchen for another cup of coffee)

16 comments:

gayle said...

I too am all thumbs in the morning!! and lately all day too. It's just this ageing thing!

Coffeypot said...

You would have made a great segment in a sitcom today. Funny (not to you but tummy roller to me). I advise you learn to drink our coffee black - the God intended it.

Happyone :-) said...

With that start this morning your day just has to get better!! :-)
I'm the opposite of you. I wake up ready to go. I have to tone myself down because my husband tells me no one should be as happy as you in the morning. That's why I'm out the door and walking. BTW - I don't like coffee!

Betty said...

It takes me until around 10:00 a.m. to get it all together in the morning. After my coffee and newspaper, I'm ready to be civil.

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Lmao,believe me,I'm laughing with you,not at you. I'm Glad to know I'm not the only one.

JY said...

Hubs did that yesterday. Unfortunately we are ALL kind of the same when it comes to AMs and coffee!

Jamie said...

OMGosh....I have had this kind of beginning to my day....

I too, hope it got better. Big hugs. :)

Linda Medrano said...

Poor darling. I feel your pain! You have a squirrel chaser too, huh? I have to get my two cups of coffee in me before I'm even human.

Mikey said...

I hear ya. I am NON functioning in the morning, or any time after I've slept. When the horse Mesquite died, I was napping. Wade came in and said "Mesquite died" and I shot up and said "Is he ok?"
Wade just looked at me.
I've also been known to pour a whole cup of sugar instead of coffee. My autopilot is faulty :)
Hope this day gets better for you!

Peruby said...

Wow. For starters coffeepot, black coffee is yucky! I like a little coffee with my coffee mate. LOL!.

And Happyone, we just try to ignore the likes of you. I mean REALLY! Perky and awake in the morning, walking - no coffee. This is NOT normal. LOL!

I buy coffee mate by the big can, now. It has a lid that is easy to get off, but the foil seal is a bit difficult - but a kitchen knife takes care of that. Wait... scratch that. We don't want you handling a kitchen knife in the morning before you have had your coffee. Stick with a butter knife, or a spoon handle. Better still, a wooden spoon handle and poke a hole with it.

Now, about that squirrel chaser. Get him to like coffee and lick up the mess on the kitchen floor.

There you go. Smooth sailing!

glnroz said...

Ahhhh,, now I can relax.. that was a lot of reading...lol

ethelmaepotter! said...

Okay, I'm going back to bed - you've worn me out!

Cheryl said...

Every post I've read today has put a smile on my face. When it rains, it pours, huh? I'm so glad I'm a morning person and can function without coffee. I'd prefer to function with coffee, but no can do. I hope the rest of your day went without incident. Bad incidents, that is.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I hate these kind of mornings Val. I'm very much like you in the morning; but I go to my computer first...even before I make my cup of coffee. It's my routine. I love sipping on my coffee while I'm working or visiting my blog friends...it's just so relaxing.

God I think we must be the same person some times...even down to the stiff and achy back; which I have had on and off in the past weeks. Big hugs to you sweetie... ~Joy

ordinaryjanet said...

I've had days like that, when things go wrong right from the get-go. Best thing to do on those days is to lie low and hope no more disasters happen!

Maria said...

I'm a coffee fiend too. My first cup is at home with a container of goat milk yogurt. When I get to work, I make a pot of coffee. I try to be the first one there so that I can make it because no one else makes it strong enough for my taste. I have been asked more than once if I like my spoon to sit up straight in the coffee since I seem to like it so strong.

I would not make it without coffee. Bing swears by green tea, but nope. I need JAVA.