I really don't know when it happened, probably sometime during my teen years. I don't remember having any nightmares when I was little, or any bad experiences and I certainly did enjoy watching clowns on TV at that time. When I really knew I had a problem with it was when I became a mother. Lots of kids' stuff have clowns for a theme. I found myself avoiding anything with a clown. No pictures, no dolls, no coloring books, etc. Every time I looked at a clown, I got chills that ran up my spine. A very fearful sense of something that was just....... WRONG.A fear of clowns. I never would let one near either one of my kids. I'm a mess at a carnival....so many of them to deal with. I never talked about it to my kids so I don't think I've passed this on to them. They had so many other kid-oriented things in their rooms I don't think they even missed not having clown stuff. They never mentioned it to me at all. One day my daughter and I were out shopping together. Her own daughter was about 2 at the time. She saw a cute clown lamp and mentioned that it would be cute for her daughter's bedroom. She actually witnessed me shiver. I said NO....not that one. Lets find her something more feminine...like Cinderella or Barbie. Later my daughter questioned me and the secret fear of mine was exposed.
I wonder what causes this. I don't ever remember a bad experience with a clown. What are some of your silly fears (not the biggies, but the little lesser known ones)? Are these supposed to be safeguards of some sort......a way of protecting us? Sigh - another one of the things I think about. No wonder my brain is so.......busy.
