I find roads like this relaxing if you're prepared to drive them. That means a car in good working order and a full gas tank, not to mention a fully charged up cell phone. In my younger days I would often venture down unfamiliar roads just to take in the scenery. So I guess you could say....'in the highway of life, I've taken the roads less traveled'.....but tried to prepare myself for the unknown.
I'm still doing that because, at my age, life in the fast lane would be more than nerve-wracking. Even though my career was one of high-stress and split second decisions that affected the lives of others, I chose to take things at a much slower pace away from the work-place. I am now in the twilight of my years and, due to my country road association in life, there are many things I have not done. Do I want to do them? Not so much. I honestly do not feel as though I've missed out on many important things in life, even though I never did find my soul-mate. I think that is the one single thing I mourn.
This last week end was a retrospective not only for TV but also for me personally. I whipped open the filing cabinet drawers in my mind and pulled out old memories; some happy, some funny and some regrets. Thankfully, the regret filing cabinet is not too full.
I guess I can attribute that to the fact that I usually think things out before doing them. It's that long quiet drive down a country road, rather than the freeway where life goes by in a blur. Oh yes, I've made mistakes, that's for sure. But the mistakes I've made never hurt anyone but me. In a nutshell, I think I've done pretty well with my life.....but one thing still bothers me.
The loss of who I thought was a good friend.
We met in high school and became close friends. We were both 'only children' and sort of adopted each other to be our sister. She and I were as close as any true blood sisters could ever be. For 35 years. We went through boyfriends, breakups, marriage, childbirth, new houses, death of parents and divorce to name a few. She was always there for me and I for her. I saw her nearly every day for those 30-some years. We were godparents for each other's children. We told each other everything. Or so I thought.
I didn't lose this friendship due to death......I lost it due to greed.
After the death of my father, she began to change. I found out she was stealing things from my father's house and giving them to her son. She attempted to push the blame of the missing articles onto my own daughter. Then she claimed serious injury on my property and sued me fraudulently. (eventually settled out of court for only 2 thousand dollars instead of the THOUSANDS she was requesting) Basically, she sold our friendship for 22 hundred dollars.
As long as I live, I will never understand why my best friend ever did such a thing. I thought I knew her......it was obvious, I really did not.
All this happened way over 20 years ago and I still mourn our lost friendship. Yes, I've cautiously made other friends and most of those have now moved away either to another state or otherwise......I wish I could forget about this. Sometimes I want to call her up and suggest we forget about what happened and continue our friendship the way it used to be. But then I realize the reality of it all.......I could never trust her again and real true friendships are built on trust.
I really need to find a way to get over this. Can anyone offer me some words of wisdom.....some words that will give me the courage to put this in the filing cabinet marked "to be shredded".....and then forever be done with it?
On a brighter note.....my computer at work crashed. Most of my work is saved on a network server and is safe but some of it had been saved to my desktop (my fault.....bad move) and those things may be gone. Probably 20 documents. Tech support will attempt to retrieve them but he told me not to hold my breath. But the good thing is, at work I now have a new Dell that is so much faster. I also have 2010 Microsoft Office, which I will have to familiarize myself with, plus a new wireless keyboard and mouse. Not that I'm not grateful, but I don't like the feel of the keyboard. I suppose I will eventually get used to it.
Til next time.....keep smilin'.