This must have been hilarious.....

from someone else's vantage point. From mine.....not so much.

As my long-time readers know, I worked for law enforcement for 25 years. During the first half of that time I was a dispatcher for police as well as fire. Police business is more serious than not and whenever the mood can be lightened up, the guys try very hard to do so. A lot of practical jokes take place behind the scenes.

Now, like most women, I am afraid of spiders and snakes. I can take a spider pretty much in my stride.....but not a snake, no matter how small it may be. To say I'm deathly afraid of them is a gross understatement to be sure. I don't think one of our officers realized just how deep that fear ran when he decided to make me the target of his latest joke.

I live in Michigan and our only poisonous snake is the Massasauga rattlesnake. Although the bite is very painful, its rarely fatal like its cousin's, the Diamondback. You still have to seek medical attention for it though. It loves living around swampy wet areas but will sometimes come up around your home just to check things out. One of our officers killed one that was on his patio and brought it into work to serve as joke fodder.

He coiled the snake up to make it look like it was in readiness to strike and put it in the top desk drawer in the dispatch center. All the officers knew we kept pens, pencils, rubber bands, paperclips and notepaper in that drawer. I was coming on duty and when you begin your shift you have to get pertinent information from the dispatcher leaving as a lot of calls overlap. My attention was on getting that information. One of the guys asked me for a paperclip. I opened the drawer, reached in without looking and handed him a paperclip. Another guy then asked me for a rubberband. I did the same thing....all without noticing the snake. Finally, one of the guys asked me for some white-out correction fluid, figuring I'd have to look for that. He was right. I was losing patience with all the interruptions at this point and plunged my hand into the drawer but this time I was looking. My eyes took in the snake, sent an urgent signal to brain, which said Holy Crap....SNAKE....stop your hand! I don't remember anything more until they were helping me up from the corner across the room where I was crumbled up in tears, apparently having left a trail of bodies in my wake.

That officer apologized profusely over and over. He kept saying he had no idea I was so afraid of snakes....but he had to admit I put on quite the show. I did take note that all the other officers, including some command, were nearly doubled over in laughter. He said he'd never seen anyone move so fast. Just wish I could remember it.....and actually wish I could have seen it happening ....... to someone else. I bet it WAS funny. We're both retired from the department now and I never did get to pay him back for that.....even though I thought about it a lot......and, as you can see, I'm STILL thinking about it. I could just never find his weak spot.