Sunday, November 29, 2009

Maybe if you have a cast iron stomach.....

My daughter and her family have holiday meals with me.
My son usually has his holiday meals with his dad and step-mother. Once in a while those plans change. This year he was invited to the home of a woman he's been seeing. He had a nice meal with her family. He told me that he was also fixing a turkey dinner so he and his daughter would have "leftovers" to feast upon after the holiday. I was amazed that he was cooking something like this because I've never shown him how. I figured perhaps someone else had instructed him at some time through the years. He's a middle-aged man now. I know that he can cook some decent meals but I don't know the extent of his knowledge in the kitchen. I was about to find out.

Well, he called me on Saturday morning and said that he was coming over and bringing dinner....turkey and all the trimmings. Since you all know what happened with our "already prepared" meal at my daughter's, I was looking forward to some homemade authentic holiday food. He was soon at my door, roaster pan in hand. He said to me, "I'll just put this in the oven to warm it up and we can eat in about 30 minutes or so." Sounded like a plan to me. I took note that there didn't seem to be any cranberry sauce or pumpkin pie (drat!)....everything was apparently in that one roaster pan. I visualized creamy mashed potatoes.....mmmmm yum.

I set the table and fixed our drinks and soon he took the roaster out of the oven and ceremoniously took the cover off. He said....." it turned out pretty good....I'm anxious to see how you like it." You know what something smells like when its too greasy? Well, that's what was assaulting my nostrils as he stood there beaming at me. I glanced down at this half gone bird and observed that the cavity was still filled with stuffing and upon further inspection I found the bag with giblets intact, still inside the bird with stuffing covering it. It had been cooked that way.

All around the turkey in this roasting pan were potatoes and carrots cut up, much like you would do if you were making a beef roast. The potatoes and carrots had cooked in the very greasy turkey drippings. He had even tossed in a couple cans of green beans for good measure. I mentally added up in my head how long the stuffing had stayed in this bird. He fixed this meal early Thursday and this was Saturday late afternoon. Hmmmmm....3 full days. Not good. I was always taught never to leave the stuffing in the bird, that to do so could cause food poisoning. My mom was always so careful about that.....so, not wanting to take chances, I never stuff the bird. I toss an onion chopped in quarters and a couple stalks of celery in the cavity and leave it at that. I fix wonderful stuffing, but its in its own bowl and cooked separately.

I hated to hurt his feelings but I had to warn him about the stuffing. I told him not to eat it at all and to pitch it because of how long it had been in there. I tasted a bit of the white meat and it seemed ok but I didn't taste anything else. I was afraid to. Somewhere along the line he must have gotten roast beef confused with roast turkey. I am going to have to take him aside and give him some detailed instructions on fixing a turkey. His heart was in the right place but I don't need my granddaughter getting sick. He did say that he had horrible heartburn for the last couple days. I imagine I know exactly why too. I can't even begin to tell you how greasy those carrots and potatoes were. I have to laugh and shake my head. Where....in all his dreams....did he come up with a meal like that when he's had Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners so many times and they have always been traditional.....you know, with mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes and stuffing. It looks like everything is against me having a normal, regular Thanksgiving meal this year. Did you ever leave the giblet package in the turkey and cook it that way? I did....the very first holiday meal I fixed after I got married. My mom laughed so hard at me I thought she was going to pee her pants. It took me a lot of years to live that one down.

14 comments:

Coffeypot said...

At least he tried. I have to have written directions to boil water.

gayle said...

Oh no, when I first started reading, I thought..wonderful you are getting a good meal but I guess it wasn't ment to be...If I were you I would cook Christmas dinner!!

Smocha said...

OMG. That was hysterical. I am sorry you had to witness that. lol


Men slay me. My husband did cook a turkey with the giblets left inside ,the first year we were together.


I'm with you on the stuffing on the side. I never stuff my bird either. "I" care about food poisoning :)


Wish I could send you my leftovers.

((hugs))

Jamie said...

I am so very impressed that he even tried. I can only imagine how deflated he must have felt once you told him the dangers of eating that so many days later. Well I give him credit for his effort. Men...good heavens. My husband could never even do as well as your son did. I have told him how to cook so many different things, but he has no clue. I used to think that was cute...now, I just think it's pretty pathetic.

Back to work and real life today...gah.

I hope your monday is wonderful. Hugs, friend. :)

Mikey said...

oh my, lol!! At least he did try... lol

glnroz said...

That's a good tale for years to come,,lol

Karen :-) said...

It was so nice that he tried.

I thought you were just not supposed to leave the stuffing in the bird when it wasn't cooked. But if you stuffed it right before cooking it was okay. I do take the stuffing out as soon as the turkey is carved though anyway.

I've never left the giblet package in, but know a few people who have. :-)

jy1969 said...

In this case, it is REALLY the thought that counts eh? I remember my mom having done something like that. I guess everyone has done that once in their cooking career. I had to laugh and agree, maybe to be 100% sure, you'd better start on that Christmas dinner???.....

ain't for city gals said...

This was so funny to me...35 years ago I did the very same thing..I didn't know you were suppose to take out the frozen insides before you cooked the turkey..lol..I didn't even know they had frozen insides!!! I brought it to the table like that...in front of my new mother-in-law!! Funny now and was funny then...still have a great mother-in-law too!!

margarethall said...

Hi, my dear friend~!!! I am happy to see that you made it through Thanksgiving and the Sunday treat leftovers with out a trip to the emergency room~!!! lol....Ahhh, the "store bought' dinner sounds just awful what with the pudding-colored gravy and the horrible pumpkin pie~!! BUT====that dressing INSIDE for the turkey, OUCH~!! Please pass the smelling salts~!! I would have had to screamed and ran from the table, but you were diplomatic~!! Ahhhh, aren't we ALL just glad that the Holiday is OVER????....Now, Black Friday shopping gave us a new artificial tree and we are putting it up this weekend...Love gettin' the tree up, sorta' makes things serene and calming~!!
Well, Val...Please PLAN CAREFULLY FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER?....lol.....
Hugs, Margaret...(Will email soon!)

Gypsy said...

Oh dear...you must have felt so awful bursting his bubble when he was so chuffed with himself but nothing is worth getting food poisoning over.

I hope with your help, both daughter and son will learn to cook a proper turkey dinner and you might have better luck at Christmas.

You deserve to sit back and be spoilt Val.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I can't help but laugh. I'm surprised the whole family didn't get sick!!

Moohaa said...

LOL Poor kid. He tried!

My stomach did turn a bit though at the greasy description. Ugh.

Cheryl said...

Your Thanksgiving dinner stories were priceless. I can't wait to hear what happens next year.

I miss being around. I'll be back.