Friday, April 16, 2010

I cried yesterday.....

I cried because I just don't understand. Nothing will ever make me understand cruelty. I cannot understand mean-spirited people.....what makes them tick....how can one find happiness in making someone else sad.

A couple posts ago I wrote about my journeys through Blogdom and the many different emotions I feel while on those excursions. I've been reading this one certain blog for quite some time now and she is one of the most awesome women I've come across. This is the woman who brings me down to earth when I'm feeling sorry for myself.....when I'm the guest of honor at my own pity party and I feel neglected or whiney over something that has really no substance at all. The Nie Nie Dialogues is written by Stephanie Neilson, a woman who was, along with her husband and a pilot, involved in a plane crash. The pilot was killed but Nie Nie and her husband survived with burns over large areas of their bodies. Nie Nie, I believe, had them over 80% of her body. She does not look the same as she did before that fateful crash, but inside, she's the same loving wife and mother and she's beautiful.

She's been through countless surgeries and is in constant pain. Her faith in God and the love for her family gives her strength. She is brave beyond words. She finds joy in almost everything.

Yesterday in her post she writes an open letter to a cruel woman who has apparently been sending her mean and hateful emails. Since she didn't divulge the complete content, I am guessing it was about Nie Nie going to the beauty shop recently to get her hair fixed and nails polished. Apparently this mean-spirited woman thought she was spending donated money for that. I'm not sure but all I do know is that it was mean and it was unnecessary. And the post implies that she is sending these types of emails frequently. It hurt Nie Nie and it was uncalled for. If I could have driven over there and carefully....oh so carefully....given her a hug and told her how much she is respected and loved, I would have done so. But Nie Nie answered her questions with class and dignity because that's just the kind of person she is.

How can someone be so cruel? Unfortunately, there are a lot of them out there who take delight in doing cruel things. It takes the kindness of hundreds to wipe out the cruel deed of just one person. Do they think of that as power? I can only pity them. I know that eventually they will experience the cruelty themselves....brought full circle. In the meantime, lovely people like Nie Nie have souls that shine amid all their challenges and this cruel woman cannot extinguish that light. To say Nie Nie is admired and loved is an understatement and I just hope that she can block out this unnecessary hurt and keep remembering that. I would recommend all of you go read her story. She's even been on Oprah!

In the meantime, don't forget to do your Random Act of Kindness. The smallest gesture is ever appreciated by those in need. When you look in the mirror do you like WHO you see? If not, then make some changes until you're happy with you and I'm not talking about physical beauty either.....but you knew that, didn't you? Big hugs.

25 comments:

Nedine Says said...

Val, there are more people like you than there are cruel, mean, and hate filled idiots. Like the poor, they are always with us but we have the numbers, Pass the kindness !

Nedine Says said...

P.S. Nie Nie should see if she can block this fool's emails..

Joy Des Jardins said...

I'll never understand why people choose to be mean rather than kind either Val. It's so much easier to be kind. It takes a lot of energy and mental exhaustion to bring up the hatred and cruelty deep inside of some people and then spew it at others. I ask all the same questions you do about it...I have no answers. I'm sorry that Nie Nie has to endure this kind of treatment...but, as you say...she is a classy lady; I think she's above it all. ~Joy xo

forsythia said...

My guess is that cruel people get some kind of lift out of being mean. It must really take the wind out of their sails when they receive kindness and respect in return. They have an itch for power over others than can never be satisfied. On the other hand, we all know that people derive a great deal of satisfaction from being kind and giving to others. As the psalmist says, "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever." IMHO, to dwell in the "House of the Lord" is to do God's will here on earth, as it is done in heaven. I firmly believe that it is God's will that we all show love to one another during our life's journey together.

Respectfully Yours said...

I never understand the need to be mean and cruel to people. It never ceases to amaze me. Hugs to you, and my prayers are with this brave woman.

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

While working with the public, I developed a theory that one person in a thousand will be crabby or obstinate enough to give you trouble, and one in ten thousand will be awful enough to seriously ruin your day. But for someone to reach out and pick on a woman who's been through hell (and probably will be for some time)--that takes a special kind of sickness. Wow.

Sarah said...

It amazes me that people always jump to conclusions instead of finding the truth. We want to assume the worst when that's usually not the case. Sometimes it is of course but not always. I hope your friend Nie Nie keeps her head high. People suck, sometimes, but then, there are a lot of good people out there too!!!

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Val,I've come to the conclusion that you just can't fix stupid. God Bless you and Nie Nie. I'm going to visit her now.

Jamie said...

How like you to hurt for someone else. I do not have a mind that works in a mean way...I CAN be mean but I don't like the way it makes ME feel. I choose being kind if a decision's involved. Generally, it's without thought. In my later years, I have learned to be kind even when mean can be called for, most often, it leaves the other party feeling confused and let down because there is no negative reaction. Pluse, it just makes me feel better.

Hugs, friend. I hope today has been awesome for you. :)

midlifeslices said...

This makes me sad. I've read the Nie Nie chronicles off and on since her accident and would never dream anyone could find something negative to say to her. It's sad really. Sad for that person who is so minute and little that they have to try and tear down someone who has already been dealt a huge blow.

p.s. Thanks for stopping by my place. Come back soon.

Holly said...

For The Mean Person....I hope you never have to walk the mile Nie Nie is walking. I hope that you never have to experience the pain and the discomfort she has to experience. I hope you are never judged by someone like you.

Nie Nie...you ROCK!

JY said...

Because some people are so narrow minded that it is unbelievable. Those kind of people, are thankfully, few, whereas most people would read that post and feel exactly like you do. Don't give up hope in mankind..but we need to give that emailer a good bash on the head!

Linda Medrano said...

God! I hate people like that! Mean spirited and ugly soul! Nie Nie sounds like an amazing woman!

Pearl said...

Cruel people are deeply unhappy, insecure people.

But that doesn't mean they get to be cruel.

Hope your friend blocks this twit's e-mails. We owe no allegiance to morons.

Pearl

Coffeypot said...

It is sad that there are people like that in this world and how sad their life is. The courage of the lady to even go in public shows me how strong she is and her answer shows me how much character she has.

As for doing a good deed. I don't talk about it, but I made a commitment over five years ago to do that on a daily bases. I will go from small things like racing ahead to open a door for someone to, like today on my way back from NY, I stopped in a Waffle House (surprise, huh?) and there was an elderly gentleman with a WWII Veteran cap on. He was slim and frail looking. I had to waitress give me his bill, paid it and left before he was finished eating. I told the waitress to tell him thanks for serving and to pass on the good deed. Sorry! Not bragging! Just giving an example of how one can do a selfless good deed.

boneman said...

yeah. Meanies. Bullies. Dangedest thing I ever saw.
But..that's what spam file is for.
Or, just ignore the bad and wait for that person to need help, and I'll betcha a dollar she'll help as best as she can.
But, girl, it is never how other people react to a situation...it's how you react to a situation.
I'de say (even though it's not my privilege to tell you up from down) that the person you are is a very nice person...(though i heard you were demanding)(the dog told me)
Which reminds me...you got a new photo up! (isn't it?)
(maybe my Alzheimers is kicking in?)
nah....
now, where was I?
oh yeah...
yeah. Meanies. Bullies. Dangedest thing I ever saw.
But..that's what spam file is for.
Or, just ignore the bad and wait for that person to need help, and I'll betcha a dollar she'll help as best as she can.
d=))
(ps...for "sad" I have a memorial piece of music at time flies blog for the weekend.
Cried all the while i put it together.)
Had to have many hugs with the fog today after I got it onto he music box.
Dogs are good.

boneman said...

(alzhiemers or no, there were NO hugs from fog, today. That's dog)

Mama Llama said...

Bullying takes so many forms and does not cease after graduation from schooling.

Nie Nie is an amazing story and ought to serve as a motivation to us all to learn what is most important in life.

Thank you for sharing. Be well, Val.

Cheryl said...

I can't comprehend mean or cruel people. Just can't fathom the emotion. I've been reading Nie Nie's blog for a long time. Her story is heart-wrenching and sad. Her courage and love is beyond inspirational. Thank you for this post.

Happyone :-) said...

It is sad that there are people out there like that, but I believe there are many more loving, caring people.

SOUL said...

i did see nie nie on oprah and her story touched my heart-- as did the love and bond she shares with her husband and children. that alone will overcome any outside hateful remarks from others. i'm not saying they won't hurt, or sting.. even last a while. but she has a love that has power to withstand anything in her life -- and that brings out the cruelty in others-- because they are jealous. she doesn't need money, cars, outer beauty, her heart is beautiful-- and contagious--- she has a spirit that not everybody can have-- and that is why this woman thought she had to bring her down with her cruel words.

Nie Nie is a bigger woman than that -- and that is why she didn't strike back with cruelty-- because she knows she doesn't need to. she will always be beautiful to those she loves and those who love her-- what other people think or feel about her-- that's their own problem.
their own tragedy will come... until then, they can be ugly in their spirit-- until their own beauty is found in their own misery.

big hugs to you my C-
just stay you-- don't worry about the mean souls-- the only thing that will change them.. is tragedy-- we all know that-- at least those of us who have faced it.

latah bebe`

dana said...

I personally know one woman who, instead of improving HER life, spends her time filled with hate and constantly monitoring what others do and, of course, what they SHOULDN'T be doing. Some people appoint themselves as virtuous guardians of everyone else in life. Actually, I think it gives them great pleasure.

gayle said...

I just don't understand some people!! The question I have been asking so much lately is "Why"

Maria said...

Blog stalkers suck the big one. And she needs to block them from sending her e-mail. It is one thing to be kind and generous and open, but when things get nasty, the only thing that works is to cut them off at the knees.

desert dirt diva said...

just doing the phone blog thing...and yea that was very cruel....when i was a kid...I bit into an electric cord...I have had a scar on my lips from it since i was 3....people can be very very cruel...so too have people be mean to nie nie,is very awful....and on this last note...working as a noon lady at the school i tolerate alot of stuff..but the kids know....being mean around miss vicki is absoloutly not tolerated....